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Monday, 9 June 2014

my blogging secret

When I first started writing this little ol' blog over two years ago, I never had intentions of keeping it a secret.  Having always been a lover of clothes and fashion, and spent most days reviewing the 'New In' section of all my favourite retailers, reading blogs became an obvious next stage.  I loved reading about where ordinary people shopped, how they put outfits together and their latest fashion bargains. I liked that sense of being able to afford and source the same pieces as them, unlike the celebrity fashion I previously followed.

After a while I decided to start blogging myself.  I never felt my style was particularly unique, but I liked to write and blogging seemed like an achievable way to have a little creative area of my own.   So on the 18th March 2012 I sat down and wrote my first post, which if you're really interested, you can read here.  I knew nothing about how to start, what to write about or how to take a decent photo.  I had read hundreds of other blogs though and felt confident enough to give  it a go.  I planned to get it up and running, and then I'd tell friends and family.  

But as time went on, I started to feel a bit embarrassed by it.  Assuming my friends who didn't read blogs would find it self-indulgent, why would anyone want to read about my H&M jeans, and Topshop t-shirts.  Whose interested in which lipstick I'm wearing this week, and those close up photos of me aren't so flattering.  So I started keeping it a secret.  Although I felt my mum would be impressed, I was sure the inner teacher in her would comment on my grammatical errors, unflattering photos and the words I've heard her say often 'I'm not sure about that outfit'.  

And so up until last week, only the boy (my photographer) and a few colleagues (due to mentioning it in interviews) knew about 'all about the girl', and even when those few did mention it, I instantly blushed and tried to move the conversation on.  

However, this week something happened.  A birthday present from my best friend arrived in the post.  To my complete surprise, the present was the beautiful yellow shoes I'd featured in my birthday wishlist.  I was sure my friend couldn't possibly have taken a punt on them, although she knows me well, yellow clogs are a pretty big risk.  When I text to thank her profusely, a part of my knew she'd found my blog, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her outright, so I acted ignorant and proclaimed 'How did you know?!'.  She replied and said she'd been planning to buy me something from Dahlia (she really does know me too well) and how she'd discovered my blog as I'd tweeted to them.  

Again, I immediately felt my cheeks burning, and an overwhelming sense of embarrassment.  I know it seems silly, but it's been a secret I'd kept for 2 years, and for her to stumble across it just filled me with fear, what would she think?! Of course, there's a reason we have friends, and that's because they love you for who you are, and what you do, her reply?

'Don't be embarrassed, you should be proud, it's great'.

And she's right, I should be proud, and so I'm typing this a little more confidently and a big smile on my face.  I am proud of this little space, yes I'd like my photos to be better, my writing to have more flair, and my posts to be more regular, but I'm working on that.

Just don't get me wrong, I have no intentions to go tell everyone about it, but maybe we'll get there...eventually.

So Big Love to my Bezza, Patch!

6 comments :

  1. Yay for going public!! You should be proud, you are a fab blogger, and if no-one else does, I like reading it :)

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  2. I genuinely thought I was alone in being embarrassed with blogging and filming ect. I'm so glad I'm not! Reading this felt like I was talking about it myself, it does feel so embarrassing because most people don't understand blogging and YouTube along with the world it comes with, I'm still embarrassed to talk about my blog too, but you've just given me a little more incentive to not be, I definitely feel embarrassed asking people to take pictures of my outfit because I feel like they may think I'm 'sad'
    Well done for taking a leap :)

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  3. I thought I was the only one as well! I'm so worried people will think it's strange or that I'm sad or something but it's so good that you are happy :)

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  4. I LOVE this. You really should be proud of this lovely little space, you are one of my favourite reads, and my list is now over 200 (shameful!). What a lovely gal she is, and i saw the shoes on your IG feed, AMAZING!!!xxxx

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  5. Such a fab post... I kept mine a secret from my hubby for months, he then found it and has a blog too now x

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  6. Aww this is such a lovely post:) Thank you for sharing your experience :) You have such lovely friends and family x
    | Life as a Petite || Fashion, Crafts & Lifestyle Blog |

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